A Ron Swanson Appreciation Post

I lead a Ron Swanson appreciation life. I listen intently at the feet of this mustachioed man for nuggets of wisdom about the failure of government, the beauty of meat, and the joy of living a bachelor life.

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Known best for his dashing good looks, inherent charm, and furrowed gaze, Ron is the quintessential macho man. He loves fishing and carpentry, basketball and camping. The smell of bacon makes him weak in the knees, and he can never resist a good steak.

But he also has a softer side that makes him all the more lovable. Ron is the loyal, dependable rock amidst the storms of life. His wise instruction comes easily. In fact, he plays the unwilling sage in the Parks department. Although he never opts to listen to others’ woes, they inevitably come to him in search of advice because they know he always delivers. 

His journey has been rough from the start. He started working at a sheet metal factory at the ripe age of nine. He undertook two insane divorces (both to women named Tammy) and lived to tell the tale. 

By night he tours local night clubs in secret as the illustrious Duke Silver, a saxophone player with great popularity among the ladies.

But two aspects of his personality shine brighter than the rest.

First, he respects strong women.

Ron deeply respects Leslie, even though he enjoys teasing her for her unwavering dedication to the Parks department. While he may have dated two of the most completely neurotic women in TV history, he became attracted to them because of their confidence and assertiveness. He even helped Andy with his women’s studies class because he enjoys learning about powerful women.

Second, he loves breakfast food as much as I do.

Breakfast food is the best food, and Ron whole-heartedly agrees. A framed poster of a breakfast plate hangs in his office. When at a strip club, he turns away from the show in order to enjoy the full breakfast buffet served in the back. He acknowledges the beauty of waffles, but, more importantly, the divinity of bacon.

Ron Swanson is essentially the coolest person on TV right now, and he doesn’t even try–as in one scene, where Tom Haverford is trying pick-ups lines on girls in the government building using Ron’s raccoon cap. Not one lady finds his conversation piece particularly inviting, so a disappointed Tom returns the cap to Ron. Ron places it back on his head, and immediately a woman stops by his office to compliment him on his cap.

A smiling Ron looks cheekily at Tom, as if sharing a private joke with himself. 

I love this man.

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